[Souldreamer-developers] no occasion upon which he was not

Sun Dec 6 00:34:12 CET 2009

Ry column. He rushed into the office of the paper and cried out to the
editor: "Look here, sur, what do you mean by this? You have published
two columns and a half of my obituary, and here I am as large as life!"
The editor looked up and coolly said, "Sur, I am vury sorry, I reckon
there is a mistake some place, but it kean't be helped. You are killed
by the _Jersey Eagle_, you are to the world buried. We nevur correct
anything, and we nevur apologise in Amurrican papers." "That won't do
for me, sur. My wife's in tears; my friends are laughing at me; my
business will be ruined,--you _must_ apologise." "No, si--ree, an
Amurrican editor nevur apologises." "Well, sur, I'll take the law on you
right away. I'm off to my attorney." "Wait one minute, sur--just one
minute. You are a re-nowned and popular citizen: the _Jersey Eagle_ has
killed you--for that I am vury, vury sorry, and to show you my respect I
will to-morrow find room for you--in the births column." Now do not let
any editor imagine these pages are my professional obituary,--my
autobiography. If by mistake he does, then let him place me immediately
in their births column. I am in my forties, and there is quite time for
me to prepare and publish two more volumes of my "Confessions" from my
first to my second birth, and many other things, before I am fifty.
[Illustration: Faithfully yours Harry Furniss] LONDON, 1901. [The Author
begs to acknowledge his indebtedness to the Proprietors and the Editor
of _Punch_, the Proprietors of the _Magazine of Art_, the _Graphic_, the
_Illustrated London News_, _English Illustrated Magazine_, _Cornhill
Magazine_, _Harper's Magazine_, _Westminster Gazette_, _St. James'
Gazette_, the _British Weekly_ and the _Sporting Times_ for their
kindness in allowing him to reproduce extracts and pictures in these
volumes.] CONTENTS. CHAPTER I. CONFESSIONS OF MY
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