Honestly, I only saw your photo, and read a few of your comments.

Now I finally found your mail!

Do not ask how.

You know how I am, and I need to get something off my chest: I have always loved you – but there's this little issue: honestly, you're fat and I need you to get beautiful.

I know a product that has helped my friend to get in shape fast.

Dug up the link for you -- clicky-clicky.

Stop being big, start being mine – and please answer ASAP.